Don't Pick a Poison...Pick You

It's okay not to deal with toxic people...even if those people are your family members. With the holidays approaching, it's easy to get caught up in drama that has nothing to do with you - don't. Be understanding and know that some people manifest negativity and will project their insecurities and problems onto you because they don't know any better. 

It took me a very long time to remove myself from toxicity, and honestly I still find myself wrapped in it sometimes, but less and less these days. You do not have to pick a poison and furthermore, you don't have to feel guilty about your decision to remove yourself. I've had people tell me even witchcraft is going on around me when I don't want to succumb to toxic situations. The only witchcraft I see is when people don't take care of their mental health. There such a stigma on mental issues, especially in the African American community. I love God and I will see a therapist in a heartbeat. There is nothing wrong with doing both. Sometimes I wish I could get along with certain folks. I yearn for closeness with some of the ones I love, but until they can take care of themselves better, I can't be around them. It's like standing next to a live mine, you don't know when it will go off, you are sure to be blown up, but you're expected to do it because that's your friend, neighbor, sister, dad, etc. Break free from the expectations and obligations of the external world. Get in tune with yourself. As long as you know who you are and why you've chosen not to be in a toxic situation, that's all that matters. And if that situation changes, great! More love for you! But if it doesn't and you keep banging your head against a brick wall, no one gets bloodied but you. The brick wall never feels a thing. I'm saying this as a reminder to myself and as a comfort to my readers. 

I don't know what your scenario might be, but ask yourself the questions that you keep avoiding. Is this relationship toxic? Do I feel good around this person? Do I have good reactions to what this person is talking about? Does something need to change in this relationship? If it does, sooner is always better than later in this case. It will be tough, you will want to hate yourself for it, but in the long run, in your future, there should only be good, healthy relationships. Don't pick a poison, suck it out. Block their number, stop the conversation, don't show up...take a step towards a healthier life mentally. Love and light to everyone reading.

Help! I've Fallen but I'm Not Going to Ask For Help!

This week one of my best friends and I had a very interesting conversation about asking for help. I’m used to being a one-woman wrecking crew, but with trying to launch my online talk show and other projects I’m involved in, I have to ask for help. The main issue with this is -- I can’t control what other people do – I can make my standards known, but I have to trust someone to complete a job to my satisfaction. I’m very proud of myself for being able to do this, because I can be a control freak sometimes. I have high standards for my work and the work of those around me. As my friend explained, he feels like he has to play all the roles for his upcoming web series, but he likes it that way. Different strokes for different folks, but I personally feel like I wish I had a “me” at my side to help navigate this freelance world. Heck, the working world in general. I know way too many people who are too afraid or too stubborn to ask for help. If you prefer working alone, that’s one thing, but if you’re drowning and don’t reach your hand out to be saved, then you deserve to drown. I watched another good friend of mine deteriorate physically trying to get a huge project done; he did ask for help in some areas, but he was so burnt out at the end of everything that I wondered why he doesn’t just hire a staff. Will everyone you hire stay with you forever? No. Will everyone see the vision you have? No. However, everyone can serve a purpose. 

This week I urge you to ask for help. Something big, something small, something you may not even need help with…just ask. Tweet me when you do! Make it a practice to involve other people when you need it. And in this way, not only do you take some of the pressure off yourself, you’re able to give back in a way that grows someone else and allows you to gain managerial skills. You don’t have to be in corporate America to be a good manager or a boss. You don’t have to run your battery down trying to get it all done. And if you’re the person reading this article with a furrowed brow, then I’m especially talking to you. Since I lead by example, here is my ask:

I’m looking for a few great (not good) interns to help with the Stephe B Show. Here are the positions:

--Editor (2)

--Camera Operator (3)

--Sound/Boom Operator (2)

--Floor Director (1)

--Production Assistant (2)

Pass this post along to anyone you know who has the skills for these positions. Email iamstepheb@gmail.com with INTERNSHIP and the position you would like in the subject line. After receiving your email, I will send more details about the job description; you must be local to Houston. I promise to share with you all the knowledge I have on how to successfully run a show, and boost your resume to the best of your ability, and in return I ask for you to give 100% to your position. I will be making decisions by November 27, 2016 so email now J Don't forget to tell me in the comments what's keeping you from asking for help!