A Rich Shade of Blue

I have this station on Pandora called "A Rich Shade of Blue", I stole that from Class of 3000, this cartoon series by my fave, Andre3000. It's what most people would call a sad station, but what people consider sad music actually kinda soothes me.

I missed yoga tonight because I'm sad. I'm proud to report I did eat, but today is down because I'm way too far in my head. I have this amazing, talented group of friends and we're all just stuck about what to do next. I know one who wants to start a non-profit, one who has a novel idea, one is undoubtedly the next Whitney Houston, one who is going to chart history, one who could get you off if you murdered your mom (she's that good), I mean the list goes on, but I feel like none of us is quite where we want to be, especially me. I came to the realization that I know which career I want. I've always known, but somewhere in the past year I started suffering from analysis paralysis - where you are so busy trying to make a decision that you never actually make a decision, just stay stuck in the phase of options.

It's scary to be a millenial. And it's such a new feeling. I'm usually fearless. I'm not kidding, I'm so oblivious to fear sometimes you wonder if I have common sense, but I put my mind to something and get laser focus and get it done. But this is my life I'm trying to get done, so it's different. Our parents got a job and worked there until they retired whether they liked it or not, and they had a family and that was happiness. I refuse to settle for that idea. The whole world is open to me and I'm too scared to get out of bed. This weekend I have a poetry competition and I'm going to give it what I have and try to make a Houston slam team. I also have an idea for my next poetry video and the makings of a show I need to get going on.

So I'll try again tomorrow. I have been reminded from every angle that I have what it takes and God has a plan for me and I can do it, but I'm writing because I'm scared, and you might be scared too, and that's okay, but we both have to keep moving. Even if we have to go one hour at a time. I'll workout or read scripture or even just continue to listen to Pandora before this night is over and I'll get up tomorrow and the sun will be shining and I'll try again. I'll let you know how it goes.

Keep your expectations low...

Okay so here's the thing. I want to start a blog. But not one that's super popular because I don't know how dedicated I'll be to the blog. But I have a lot of stuff to say. Things millennials go through. Things that could be shared to help someone else. Things that could be shared to help my mental health. Things that could be shared period lol. So we're going to start today. I thought of starting a new blog, but I have sentimental ties to this one, so we'll just start here and see how this goes. And if I happen to help you, please let me know. It will encourage me to write more.