Let Him Be Nice To You!

I could post a million things on trying to date as a millennial. This is a popular topic because it has gotten complicated and no one seems to know what the etiquette is anymore because no one seems to know what the motives are anymore. I’m personally in my head all the time and often make the mistake of assuming the other person is telepathic. In my old age (haha) I’ve learned to go with the flow. More importantly, I’ve learned that I define what I want and a relationship can be whatever I want it to be. I had a type – medium brown, beautiful smile, trash motives. Jesus happily dismantled that over time and a removed a couple terrible people from my life and I’m much wiser for it. Now my type is open.

I’m thankful for the girlfriends in my life who set me up for success in dismantling this idea in my head of what my guy was supposed to be. Looking back I probably developed those ideas from personal experiences, TV and societal “norms”. Literally. When a new guy came along who was not at all what I imagined, I was totally annoyed by him. Not interested. Not even paying him any attention. And my friends said, “Let him be nice to you!” They yelled it at me because they know how hard-headed I am. I softened, I let him be nice to me and the result was amazing. Oh my gosh, I liked a guy who wasn’t my type! Except it turns out he was, because my type changed. Having a type usually also means you’re going to run into the same kind of person and same kind of problems you don’t want. Learn to recognize your patterns in life and in relationships and analyze them; adjust them accordingly. Changing your type doesn’t mean changing your standards. It means being aware that someone who doesn’t look like or act like the picture in your head could absolutely meet those standards. I learned, I grew, I ended up happy. What is your ideal man or woman? Why? What do you want from them? Why? What are you willing to give them? Why? Ask yourself these basic questions. And then let him/her be nice to you!